Category Archives: Loss

Happy 32nd birthday

Posted on December 22, 2019 by annwae

Dear Toby, What do I say to you now on the day that would have been your 32nd birthday, the ninth one where I can’t send you a card or a Facebook message. You wouldn’t be on Facebook anyway if … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Christmas, gratitude, Grief, Healing, Loss, suicide | 3 Comments

Will it get better?

Posted on January 17, 2019 by annwae

I often get emails from desperate parents who have lost their child to suicide recently, and the first thing they ask is ‘Will it get better?’ In the early weeks and months this is all you really want to hear. … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 4 Comments

Happy Birthday

Posted on December 22, 2018 by annwae

Dear Toby, This year you would be 31 in earth years, born 22nd December 1987 in the early hours of the morning in Good Samaritan hospital in Phoenix, Arizona. You were due on the 29th but came a week early … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Christmas, guilt, Loss, parents, suicide | 10 Comments

Why are we so uncomfortable talking about death?

Posted on November 23, 2018 by annwae

Living alone and being single, I often find myself in situations where I am meeting people for the first time. I belong to walking groups, a writing group, a women’s business group and a dining club, so it is common … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Loss, suicide | 5 Comments

Dear Toby

Posted on December 22, 2017 by annwae

Dear Toby, It is your 30th birthday today, it is always a bit confusing on birthdays – should I celebrate or cry all day? I still think of you as my little boy, I lost you when you were 23, … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, gratitude, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 12 Comments

That time of year again

Posted on December 19, 2017 by annwae

Well it’s that time of year again and I usually just regurgitate my blog about how to survive Christmas after the loss of a loved one, but it doesn’t feel appropriate anymore. A better blog would be how to survive … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Christmas, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 8 Comments

A million questions why?

Posted on April 18, 2017 by annwae

One of the first questions asked by survivors of bereavement by suicide is – why? We are born programmed with an inner sense of self-preservation; fight or flight. If faced with danger we can access huge surges of adrenaline that … Continue reading →

Posted in guilt, Loss, suicide, why | 6 Comments

Happy Birthday Toby

Posted on December 22, 2015 by annwae

Dear Toby, Today is your 28th birthday, but to me you are forever frozen at 23. You lived for approximately 86,000 days and I cherished every one. Just recently I realised that it was all the ordinary days I miss … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, suicide, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Don’t stop, never give up

Posted on June 25, 2015 by annwae

Regular readers of my blog will know that the theme is ‘healing and recovery’, I started writing about how I was coping with my intense grief following the tragic death of my son, less than a year after he died. … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, suicide | 3 Comments

Torn between remembering and forgetting

Posted on November 2, 2014 by annwae

This is the conversation that goes on in my head quite regularly. “I feel OK, today quite content really. I feel quite happy, life is good.” “But how can you possibly be happy? Your son is dead. You can’t possibly … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss | 13 Comments