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Author Archives: annwae
Happy 32nd birthday
Dear Toby, What do I say to you now on the day that would have been your 32nd birthday, the ninth one where I can’t send you a card or a Facebook message. You wouldn’t be on Facebook anyway if … Continue reading
Posted in bereavement, Christmas, gratitude, Grief, Healing, Loss, suicide
3 Comments
Was I a complete failure as a parent?
One of the traumas parents often face in the complex and tragic aftermath of losing a child to suicide, is the feeling of being a complete failure as a parent. We are supposed to protect them. From the time they … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
8 Comments
Letting go…..
Today, 7 years and 6 months later, I’ve finally decided to throw out the shirt Toby was wearing when he died. It is so hard to let go of anything that reminds me of Toby, but the other day I … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
2 Comments
Will it get better?
I often get emails from desperate parents who have lost their child to suicide recently, and the first thing they ask is ‘Will it get better?’ In the early weeks and months this is all you really want to hear. … Continue reading
Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide
4 Comments
It will get better……
I saw this today posted from The Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide in America. Having just heard from someone with a recent loss, I think this mostly describes how I feel. Time does not heal, the sadness never ends, you … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
3 Comments
Happy Birthday
Dear Toby, This year you would be 31 in earth years, born 22nd December 1987 in the early hours of the morning in Good Samaritan hospital in Phoenix, Arizona. You were due on the 29th but came a week early … Continue reading
Posted in bereavement, Christmas, guilt, Loss, parents, suicide
10 Comments
Why are we so uncomfortable talking about death?
Living alone and being single, I often find myself in situations where I am meeting people for the first time. I belong to walking groups, a writing group, a women’s business group and a dining club, so it is common … Continue reading
Posted in bereavement, Grief, Loss, suicide
5 Comments
Seven years on
I am both heartbroken and thankful when someone emails me about reading my blog. Thankful that they have found me. Heartbroken because they are on the same painful journey of learning to live again after the life shattering event of … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
12 Comments
Dear Toby
Dear Toby, It is your 30th birthday today, it is always a bit confusing on birthdays – should I celebrate or cry all day? I still think of you as my little boy, I lost you when you were 23, … Continue reading
Posted in bereavement, gratitude, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide
12 Comments
That time of year again
Well it’s that time of year again and I usually just regurgitate my blog about how to survive Christmas after the loss of a loved one, but it doesn’t feel appropriate anymore. A better blog would be how to survive … Continue reading
Posted in bereavement, Christmas, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide
8 Comments
