Author Archives: annwae

My top 5 reflections on surviving in times of crisis

Posted on October 15, 2020 by annwae

Now, more than ever, is a time of reflection. Millions of people around the world have had their lives shattered and turned upside down, out of the blue, with no warning and everything they thought was normal and safe has … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Happy 32nd birthday

Posted on December 22, 2019 by annwae

Dear Toby, What do I say to you now on the day that would have been your 32nd birthday, the ninth one where I can’t send you a card or a Facebook message. You wouldn’t be on Facebook anyway if … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Christmas, gratitude, Grief, Healing, Loss, suicide | 3 Comments

Was I a complete failure as a parent?

Posted on January 22, 2019 by annwae

One of the traumas parents often face in the complex and tragic aftermath of losing a child to suicide, is the feeling of being a complete failure as a parent. We are supposed to protect them. From the time they … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments

Letting go…..

Posted on January 21, 2019 by annwae

Today, 7 years and 6 months later, I’ve finally decided to throw out the shirt Toby was wearing when he died. It is so hard to let go of anything that reminds me of Toby, but the other day I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Will it get better?

Posted on January 17, 2019 by annwae

I often get emails from desperate parents who have lost their child to suicide recently, and the first thing they ask is ‘Will it get better?’ In the early weeks and months this is all you really want to hear. … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 4 Comments

It will get better……

Posted on January 14, 2019 by annwae

I saw this today posted from The Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide in America. Having just heard from someone with a recent loss, I think this mostly describes how I feel. Time does not heal, the sadness never ends, you … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Happy Birthday

Posted on December 22, 2018 by annwae

Dear Toby, This year you would be 31 in earth years, born 22nd December 1987 in the early hours of the morning in Good Samaritan hospital in Phoenix, Arizona. You were due on the 29th but came a week early … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Christmas, guilt, Loss, parents, suicide | 10 Comments

Why are we so uncomfortable talking about death?

Posted on November 23, 2018 by annwae

Living alone and being single, I often find myself in situations where I am meeting people for the first time. I belong to walking groups, a writing group, a women’s business group and a dining club, so it is common … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Loss, suicide | 5 Comments

Seven years on

Posted on September 20, 2018 by annwae

I am both heartbroken and thankful when someone emails me about reading my blog. Thankful that they have found me. Heartbroken because they are on the same painful journey of learning to live again after the life shattering event of … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | 12 Comments

Dear Toby

Posted on December 22, 2017 by annwae

Dear Toby, It is your 30th birthday today, it is always a bit confusing on birthdays – should I celebrate or cry all day? I still think of you as my little boy, I lost you when you were 23, … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, gratitude, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 12 Comments