Category Archives: guilt

Happy Birthday

Posted on December 22, 2018 by annwae

Dear Toby, This year you would be 31 in earth years, born 22nd December 1987 in the early hours of the morning in Good Samaritan hospital in Phoenix, Arizona. You were due on the 29th but came a week early … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Christmas, guilt, Loss, parents, suicide | 10 Comments

Dear Toby

Posted on December 22, 2017 by annwae

Dear Toby, It is your 30th birthday today, it is always a bit confusing on birthdays – should I celebrate or cry all day? I still think of you as my little boy, I lost you when you were 23, … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, gratitude, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 12 Comments

A million questions why?

Posted on April 18, 2017 by annwae

One of the first questions asked by survivors of bereavement by suicide is – why? We are born programmed with an inner sense of self-preservation; fight or flight. If faced with danger we can access huge surges of adrenaline that … Continue reading →

Posted in guilt, Loss, suicide, why | 6 Comments

Torn between remembering and forgetting

Posted on November 2, 2014 by annwae

This is the conversation that goes on in my head quite regularly. “I feel OK, today quite content really. I feel quite happy, life is good.” “But how can you possibly be happy? Your son is dead. You can’t possibly … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss | 13 Comments

A bright shining star

Posted on September 7, 2014 by annwae

So I have had a bit of ‘writer’s block’ this summer, and haven’t written much at all. I was prompted to write something when Robin Williams died and this week I have been touched by the story of a grieving … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 2 Comments

Out of tragedy can come change: the other legacy left by Robin Williams

Posted on August 14, 2014 by annwae

This week has been a sad week for many fans who loved Robin Williams from afar, who loved his humour, his films and his spirit. It has been an especially difficult week for those of us who have lost loved … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, gratitude, guilt, suicide | 2 Comments

Will I ever get over the guilt?

Posted on February 4, 2014 by annwae

‘GUILT. Guilt comes from a mistaken belief that we could have, or should have, prevented the death from happening, or from regret over irreconciled aspects of the relationship. In truth, we all do the best we can given our human … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 80 Comments

It is there

Posted on December 26, 2012 by annwae

Warning – this post contains some content that may upset bereaved parents It is there. It is there when I wake up in the morning, it is there as I get ready for work, it is there as I drive … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Loss, parents, suicide | 15 Comments

Dear Toby,

Posted on December 22, 2012 by annwae

Dear Toby, Today is your 25th birthday but you are not around for me to see how you have changed and grown up, you will be forever frozen at 23. I wonder if you would have changed much, but I … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Christmas, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

How will I carry on?

Posted on November 4, 2012 by annwae

I have written before about comparing intense grief to having a disability like losing a limb. Of course we would have rather we had lost a limb than our child, but the point I’m making is that we have to … Continue reading →

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment