Well I got through Christmas. Did I take my own advice? It wasn’t easy because I was staying with a friend who I didn’t know very well. However, I was grateful that she had invited me into her home and her family for Christmas so I made the best of it even if things didn’t go exactly as I would have wanted.
I have learned to not take things so seriously as one of my Mum’s mottos was ‘Nothing really matters very much and most things don’t matter at all’. I think it was Edmund Hilary – now I have to go and look it up. No it wasn’t it was Arthur James Balfour, whoever he was.
I have certainly take this motto to heart , as since losing my son it has made me realise that all the things I worried about were nothing. I always remembered that line from ‘Wear Sunscreen’
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Well mine blindsided me at 10 pm on Sunday 10th July. Up to that point how was I to know that everything I worried about was inconsequential. Even before I lost Toby I used to recall this paragraph. I thought about it when the train crashed at Paddington and I always remember the TV showing all the cars left in the station car park somewhere, cars that were never going to be picked up. I used to think about all the husbands and wives, sons and daughters that walked out of the house that morning not knowing they would never be coming back. Or the people that walked out of their houses on 7th July 2005 to travel to London, or 9th September 2001 in New York.
We spend so much of our lives worrying about thing that don’t really matter.
So what really matters to you today?
What really matters to me now as I look forward to a New Year with nearly all my family gone?
Well I think I need to make a difference to others, to help, to teach, to inspire. I need to cherish my times when I am at one with nature out on the beach with my little doggie companion, and I need to be grateful for what I have, and grateful for the people I have loved and who have loved me.
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012