Category Archives: bereavement

A bright shining star

So I have had a bit of ‘writer’s block’ this summer, and haven’t written much at all. I was prompted to write something when Robin Williams died and this week I have been touched by the story of a grieving … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 2 Comments

Out of tragedy can come change: the other legacy left by Robin Williams

This week has been a sad week for many fans who loved Robin Williams from afar, who loved his humour, his films and his spirit. It has been an especially difficult week for those of us who have lost loved … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, gratitude, guilt, suicide | 2 Comments

Is acceptance the key to recovery?

I read a great quote the other day from Michael J Fox, an American actor who seemingly had everything but was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson’s disease at the age of 30. “Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Will I ever get over the guilt?

‘GUILT. Guilt comes from a mistaken belief that we could have, or should have, prevented the death from happening, or from regret over irreconciled aspects of the relationship. In truth, we all do the best we can given our human … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 80 Comments

Can we separate the ‘death’ from the life?

 I had a ‘suicide’ drawer in my dresser. When Toby died I accumulated all manner of upsetting papers and documents. The first was an ‘Interim certificate of death’. Imagine going to open the post and seeing ‘Toby Thorn’ ‘Asphyxiation’ and … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, suicide | 6 Comments

Awakening from a coma

It’s been just over two years since I encountered the life shattering tragedy of losing my son Toby to suicide. I have spoken before about the trauma being like a brain injury, everything I knew, believed in and valued was … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, gratitude, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 22 Comments

I hope you had the time of your life

I remember distinctly the first time I heard this song. I was watching a documentary on BBC2 about a family who had a son who was autistic. He got so distressed by eveyday life, they had moved to some remote … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

If only we could bottle memories

I wonder if in these futuristic times in which we live, we will ever be able to store up feelings and memories and then re-experience them in virtual reality. One of the recurring statements I hear from people who have lost … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Loss, parents, suicide, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

It is there

Warning – this post contains some content that may upset bereaved parents It is there. It is there when I wake up in the morning, it is there as I get ready for work, it is there as I drive … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Loss, parents, suicide | 15 Comments

Dear Toby,

Dear Toby, Today is your 25th birthday but you are not around for me to see how you have changed and grown up, you will be forever frozen at 23. I wonder if you would have changed much, but I … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Christmas, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 3 Comments