Category Archives: Grief

Mother’s Day takes on a new significance after the loss of a child

After the loss of a child it can be difficult to get through all the special days; birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas. But Mother’s Day is especially difficult. We are surrounded by fluffy images of Mums and children and all our friends … Continue reading

Posted in Grief, Loss, parents, Uncategorized | 6 Comments

Is acceptance the key to recovery?

I read a great quote the other day from Michael J Fox, an American actor who seemingly had everything but was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson’s disease at the age of 30. “Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means understanding that … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Will I ever get over the guilt?

‘GUILT. Guilt comes from a mistaken belief that we could have, or should have, prevented the death from happening, or from regret over irreconciled aspects of the relationship. In truth, we all do the best we can given our human … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 80 Comments

Can we separate the ‘death’ from the life?

 I had a ‘suicide’ drawer in my dresser. When Toby died I accumulated all manner of upsetting papers and documents. The first was an ‘Interim certificate of death’. Imagine going to open the post and seeing ‘Toby Thorn’ ‘Asphyxiation’ and … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, suicide | 6 Comments

Awakening from a coma

It’s been just over two years since I encountered the life shattering tragedy of losing my son Toby to suicide. I have spoken before about the trauma being like a brain injury, everything I knew, believed in and valued was … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, gratitude, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 22 Comments

I hope you had the time of your life

I remember distinctly the first time I heard this song. I was watching a documentary on BBC2 about a family who had a son who was autistic. He got so distressed by eveyday life, they had moved to some remote … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Grief doesn’t get any better than this.

What if it doesn’t get any better than this? I asked myself this question today and I was surprised that the answer I found was ‘That’s OK’. I am OK with that, in fact better than OK. Mind you at … Continue reading

Posted in gratitude, Grief, Healing, Loss, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

If only we could bottle memories

I wonder if in these futuristic times in which we live, we will ever be able to store up feelings and memories and then re-experience them in virtual reality. One of the recurring statements I hear from people who have lost … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Loss, parents, suicide, Uncategorized | 3 Comments

It is there

Warning – this post contains some content that may upset bereaved parents It is there. It is there when I wake up in the morning, it is there as I get ready for work, it is there as I drive … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Loss, parents, suicide | 15 Comments

I don’t want this to be the way my story ends….

Hundreds, maybe even thousands of times, since I lost Toby I have pondered my desire to carry on living. I still don’t know how I have carried on, because if you had asked me 2 years ago how I would … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | Tagged , , | 4 Comments