Category Archives: Healing

Will I ever get over the guilt?

‘GUILT. Guilt comes from a mistaken belief that we could have, or should have, prevented the death from happening, or from regret over irreconciled aspects of the relationship. In truth, we all do the best we can given our human … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 80 Comments

Can we separate the ‘death’ from the life?

 I had a ‘suicide’ drawer in my dresser. When Toby died I accumulated all manner of upsetting papers and documents. The first was an ‘Interim certificate of death’. Imagine going to open the post and seeing ‘Toby Thorn’ ‘Asphyxiation’ and … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, suicide | 6 Comments

Awakening from a coma

It’s been just over two years since I encountered the life shattering tragedy of losing my son Toby to suicide. I have spoken before about the trauma being like a brain injury, everything I knew, believed in and valued was … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, gratitude, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | 22 Comments

I hope you had the time of your life

I remember distinctly the first time I heard this song. I was watching a documentary on BBC2 about a family who had a son who was autistic. He got so distressed by eveyday life, they had moved to some remote … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Grief doesn’t get any better than this.

What if it doesn’t get any better than this? I asked myself this question today and I was surprised that the answer I found was ‘That’s OK’. I am OK with that, in fact better than OK. Mind you at … Continue reading

Posted in gratitude, Grief, Healing, Loss, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Dear Toby,

Dear Toby, Today is your 25th birthday but you are not around for me to see how you have changed and grown up, you will be forever frozen at 23. I wonder if you would have changed much, but I … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Christmas, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

I don’t want this to be the way my story ends….

Hundreds, maybe even thousands of times, since I lost Toby I have pondered my desire to carry on living. I still don’t know how I have carried on, because if you had asked me 2 years ago how I would … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

How will I carry on?

I have written before about comparing intense grief to having a disability like losing a limb. Of course we would have rather we had lost a limb than our child, but the point I’m making is that we have to … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, parents, suicide | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Reinforcement in the Aftermath of suicide

Reinforcement in the Aftermath of Suicide LaRita Archibald RESPONSIBILITY:  Putting it into perspective. I have a responsibility TO those I love… to be loving, patient, considerate and kind, to be loyal, respectful and honest, to be appreciative, encouraging and comforting, … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Grief, guilt, Healing, Loss, suicide, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Can we take a vacation from grief?

I have come to realise that a lot of people underestimate the physical toll that grief takes on the body. In the early days, and to some extent even now, I found even simple tasks seem to take up vast … Continue reading

Posted in bereavement, Healing, Loss, suicide, Uncategorized | 2 Comments