Category Archives: Uncategorized

Dear Toby

Posted on December 22, 2025 by annwae

Dear Toby, It is your 38th birthday today and I have been remembering the day you were born. Today is a Monday and you were born on a Monday. We were living in Scottsdale, near Phoenix in Arizona and I … Continue reading →

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14 years

Posted on July 10, 2025 by annwae

Every year as I turn the page over on the calendar to July I get this sick, anxious feeling. I usually draw a heart with angel wings on that date – the 10th July – or a heart with teardrops … Continue reading →

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Still trekking on into my 70s

Posted on April 29, 2025 by annwae

In February 2016, on my 60th birthday I did a 5 day trek in the Sahara Desert to raise funds for PAPYRUS- a charity that works to prevent young suicide. I did it in memory of my son Toby who … Continue reading →

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Dear Toby

Posted on December 20, 2024 by annwae

Dear Toby, As your 37th birthday approaches, I find myself wrapped in a whirlwind of memories, moments that only you and I shared, moments that I hold close to my heart. Thirteen years have passed, but not a single day … Continue reading →

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13 years

Posted on July 10, 2024 by annwae

Anniversaries creep up on you like a stalker slowly closing in. I always think it’s just another day but then as the days pass, getting closer and closer to the 10th July I find myself on a downward spiral and … Continue reading →

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Grief is the price we pay for love

Posted on December 20, 2023 by annwae

When you reach my age, a lot of your peers have lost someone. A parent, a spouse, a sibling; the only 2 certainties in life are death and taxes. As we age we attend more funerals than weddings and I … Continue reading →

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Memories

Posted on July 30, 2023 by annwae

Every time I think I was a complete failure as a parent, I bat away that thought by recalling times when I think I was quite a special mum. It’s a rainy day today in Cornwall and I’m binge watching … Continue reading →

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Accepting you will never know why

Posted on March 15, 2023 by annwae

I haven’t written this blog for ages but I sometimes I just feel I should share part of my journey as even though it has been 12 years this year, I experience something nearly every day that relates to Toby … Continue reading →

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Dear Toby

Posted on December 22, 2021 by annwae

34 years ago today I was in the Good Samaritan hospital in Phoenix where you had just been born. We never talked much about your dad, but I want you to know you were born with love and very much … Continue reading →

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Ten years…

Posted on July 10, 2021 by annwae

Ten years….. Waking up every day with an ache so deep in my soul I want to wail like a wounded animal Ten years without hearing your voice, your laugh, your Toby wisdom, your infectious laugh Ten years without hearing … Continue reading →

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