Tag Archives: Grief

Dear Toby

Posted on December 22, 2025 by annwae

Dear Toby, It is your 38th birthday today and I have been remembering the day you were born. Today is a Monday and you were born on a Monday. We were living in Scottsdale, near Phoenix in Arizona and I … Continue reading →

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14 years

Posted on July 10, 2025 by annwae

Every year as I turn the page over on the calendar to July I get this sick, anxious feeling. I usually draw a heart with angel wings on that date – the 10th July – or a heart with teardrops … Continue reading →

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Grief is the price we pay for love

Posted on December 20, 2023 by annwae

When you reach my age, a lot of your peers have lost someone. A parent, a spouse, a sibling; the only 2 certainties in life are death and taxes. As we age we attend more funerals than weddings and I … Continue reading →

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What is grief?

Posted on August 6, 2015 by annwae

Grief….I’ve read more about grief than I ever wanted to, and yet I still seen to be drawn towards it. I recently flicked through a supplement in The Times of the 50 best new books that you should read over … Continue reading →

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Happy Birthday Toby

Posted on December 22, 2014 by annwae

Dear Toby, It seems to have become an annual tradition now, writing you a letter on your birthday every year. This year you would be 27 in earth years. It is hard to believe that 27 years ago I was … Continue reading →

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I hope you had the time of your life

Posted on April 7, 2013 by annwae

I remember distinctly the first time I heard this song. I was watching a documentary on BBC2 about a family who had a son who was autistic. He got so distressed by eveyday life, they had moved to some remote … Continue reading →

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Dear Toby,

Posted on December 22, 2012 by annwae

Dear Toby, Today is your 25th birthday but you are not around for me to see how you have changed and grown up, you will be forever frozen at 23. I wonder if you would have changed much, but I … Continue reading →

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I don’t want this to be the way my story ends….

Posted on November 24, 2012 by annwae

Hundreds, maybe even thousands of times, since I lost Toby I have pondered my desire to carry on living. I still don’t know how I have carried on, because if you had asked me 2 years ago how I would … Continue reading →

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How will I carry on?

Posted on November 4, 2012 by annwae

I have written before about comparing intense grief to having a disability like losing a limb. Of course we would have rather we had lost a limb than our child, but the point I’m making is that we have to … Continue reading →

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Guilt – part 2

Posted on June 28, 2012 by annwae

Guilt is an emotion that comes up again and again from parents, and reading the comments in my support group prompted me to publish this excerpt from the book ‘A Handbook for Survivors of Suicide’ by Jeffrey Jacskon who lost his wife. … Continue reading →

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